


and swing

by SoloChaos



Series: go go go (one of us) [22]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part XXII</p><p>(we interrupt your usual program to bring you Tyler Joseph’s point of view)</p>
            </blockquote>





	and swing

_Tyler was only nineteen years old when he met Jason Ronmey, who was nearly thirty._  
  
 _He didn't tell his parents for the longest time, knowing they wouldn't approve, but he was in_ love.

 

 

"I love you," Josh murmurs softly, like Tyler isn't supposed to hear. Tyler smiles and presses a kiss to Josh's bicep.  
  
"I love you, too," he says, and Josh blinks in surprise. He doesn't say anything, though. He just moves so he can kiss Tyler on the lips.  
  
They kiss gently, languidly for a while, until Josh pulls Tyler on top of him.  
  
"What are you doing?" Tyler asks as Josh slides his hands up Tyler's shirt, running his palms against Tyler's skin.  
  
"Loving you," Josh murmurs, pressing a kiss to Tyler's jaw.

 

 

_"Hey," Tyler says as Jason wraps warm arms around his waist and presses a kiss to the back of his neck._   
  
_"Hey," Jason agrees. "What's for dinner?"_   
  
_"Spaghetti and meatballs," Tyler says. "Could you set the table?"_   
  
_"Could we just skip to dessert?" Jason asks, voice low and brushing over the skin of Tyler's neck._   
  
_Tyler shivers and grins, fighting down a blush. "No," he says, turning around and smacking Jason's shoulder playfully. "Now go set the table."_   
  
_Jason sighs dramatically, stealing a kiss before heading to the table._   
  
_Tyler smiles as he stirs the sauce. He's happy._

 

 

"How was work?" Josh asks as he sits down across from him.  
  
Tyler swallows his bite of food before answering, "Pretty average. We're going to start planning the school play soon, and I'm directing that."  
  
"What play?" Josh asks.  
  
"A modified version of the Wizard of Oz," Tyler says.  
  
Josh nods slowly. "I don't think I've seen that. It's a movie, right?"  
  
Tyler nods. "And a book series too, I think." He rubs the back of his neck. "Do you want to watch it with me tonight?"  
  
"The Wizard of Oz?" Josh asks as bit uselessly.  
  
Tyler nods. "I was planning on watching it soon anyways," he says.  
  
"Will you rub my face?" Josh blurts before blushing.  
  
Tyler laughs. "Yes, I'll rub your face."

 

 

_"Ty, we totally pissed off at least half of the theater," Jason says, laughing as they walk in the cool night air._   
  
_"Well, who could blame us?" Tyler says, grinning at him. "I'm just too adorable for you to keep your hands off me."_   
  
_Jason smiles. "Now, don't get cocky," he says as he wraps an arm around Tyler's waist."_   
  
_"I'm not being cocky if it's true," Tyler points out, giggling as Jason tickles his side. "Stop it!"_   
  
_"Make me," Jason murmurs huskily into Tyler's ear. Tyler shivers involuntarily before smirking back._   
  
_"I won't make you, but you'll regret it later," Tyler whispers back, leering._   
  
_Jason laughs and kisses his cheek. "Good."_

 

 

"Whoa," Tyler says, taking a step back automatically.  
  
Josh is grinning at him. "Do you like it? Debby helped."  
  
"I, uh," Tyler says, scratching the back of his neck. "Well, it’s uh. Different.”  
  
Josh runs his fingers through his bright purple hair, turning towards the mirror. "Good different or bad different?"  
  
"Well," Tyler says thoughtfully. Now that the initial shock is over, he can actually take it seriously. "Good different, I think." He walks over and stands next to Josh. "My mom might not think you're quite as wholesome, but what can you do, huh?"  
  
Josh nods slowly. "What would she think of a nose ring?" He flashes Tyler a grin.  
  
Tyler laughs and kisses his boyfriend's cheek.

 

 

 _"Does he know?" Tyler's mom asks him, voice slightly muffled by the phone._  
  
 _"No," Tyler says into the receiver._  
  
 _"And are you planning on telling him?"_  
  
 _"...no."_  
  
 _"Tyler..."_  
  
 _"I won't change for a while, Mom," Tyler says. "That happens whenever I start dating someone. You know that."_  
  
 _"And I also know that whenever you_ do _change, you don't like to tell anyone," his mom reminds him. "And it makes you... sad."_  
  
 _Tyler huffs. "I'll be fine, Mom."_  
  
 _"Will you?"_  
  
 _Tyler hesitates. He knows she thinks he won't be._  
  
 _"Yes," he says. "I'll be fine."_

 

 

"It's been going really well," Tyler tells his mother.  
  
She hums into the receiver. "How long have you two been dating?"  
  
"A little over five months," he says, smiling absentmindedly.  
  
"And are you still m-"  
  
"Mom," Tyler interrupts. "Don't."  
  
She sighs. "Tyler, it's not healthy for you to bottle something like that up."  
  
"Well, I can still try," Tyler snaps. There's a pause. "Mom, I'm-"  
  
"I just worry about you," she says softly. "It's not healthy."  
  
"I know," Tyler whispers.

 

 

_"'lo, beautiful," Jason says, pressing a sloppy kiss to Tyler's cheek._   
  
_"Hello," Tyler says, angling his head so he can kiss him on the lips. "What do you want for breakfast?"_   
  
_"Hmm," Jason says with a smirk. "You." With that, he rolls on top of Tyler and kisses him deeply._   
  
_Tyler giggles into their kiss as he wraps his legs around Jason's waist._   
  
_"Breakfast is served," he whispers._

 

 

"You haven't been traveling," Josh comments as they all eat their meals.  
  
Debby shrugs. "The urge isn't as strong anymore." She smacks a kiss to Jenna's cheek. "I know why."  
  
Dinner's been a little awkward, since both Debby and Jenna both barely speak to Tyler. Josh has been trying to include him in conversation, but honestly, Tyler prefers to stay quiet.  
  
“Oh, Josh,” Jenna says suddenly.  
  
“Mm?”  
  
“Did you know that I’m a teacher too?” Josh shakes his head. "So, the students are learning about animals, and I had Debby come in and talk to them about raptors. Would you interested in teaching them a bit about sharks?"  
  
“Oh,” Josh says, sitting back. “Um. How old are your students?”  
  
“Third grade,” Jenna says. “So around eight and nine.”  
  
Josh looks at Tyler. “What do you think?”  
  
“Uh.” Tyler looks at Josh with wide eyes, thrown off. “Do you want to?”  
  
Josh shrugs. “It would be kind of cool, I guess,” he says. “But, um, would you be able to come with me?”  
  
Tyler blinks. “Um, if it’s during my free period, yeah.” He looks up. “I mean, if that’s all right with Jenna.” She nods. “Then sure.”  
  
Josh smiles at Tyler. “Cool. So when should we do this?"

 

 

 _"I don't think your parents like me," Jason comments as they leave Tyler’s parents’ home and walk towards the car._  
  
 _“What are you talking about?” Tyler asks, being deliberately obtuse._  
  
 _“They seemed kind of... cold, I guess,” Jason says. “Do you think it’s because I didn’t bring anything for them?”_  
  
 _"No, no," Tyler assures him. "No, that's fine."_  
  
 _Jason frowns. “So what did I do wrong?”_  
  
 _“You didn’t do anything wr-"_  
  
 _“It’s because I’m old, isn’t it?” Jason says suddenly, turning to Tyler. “Because I’m older.”_  
  
 _"No, no-" Tyler tries to say._  
  
 _"No, don’t lie to me!" Jason suddenly snaps. Tyler flinches back. "I'm too old for you!"_  
  
 _"No-"_  
  
 _"DON'T LIE!" Jason screams._  
  
 _"I- I'm not!" Tyler insists. "Why are you so angry?"_  
  
 _"I'M NOT ANGRY!" Jason shouts._  
  
 _"Yes, you-"_  
  
 _"DON'T TALK BACK TO ME!" he shrieks, shoving Tyler against the car. Tyler gasps, eyes flying open. "DON'T! I_ KNOW _I'M TOO OLD FOR YOU, SO STOP RE-"_  
  
 _"Everything all right?"_  
  
 _Tyler looks up to see Zack standing there, arms crossed and glaring at Jason._  
  
 _"...yeah," Jason says belatedly, stepping back from Tyler._  
  
 _"I wasn't talking to you," Zack says, looking over towards Tyler. "You okay, Ty?"_  
  
 _"Y-yeah," Tyler says, swallowing. "Yeah, I'm fine. Really," he insists at Zack's dubious expression._  
  
 _"All right," Zack says doubtfully, but turns and steps back inside._  
  
 _They don't talk on their way home, and Tyler sleeps on the sofa that night._

 

 

Tyler watches with vague fascination as Jenna redoes her makeup after dinner while Josh and Debby do something... Josh-and-Debby-like in the next room.  
  
"You're doing that wrong," he blurts as she starts to refresh her eyeliner.  
  
"What?" she says, pausing.  
  
"When you draw the pencil down at the corner, you make your eyes seem to sag," Tyler says, walking over and sitting next to her on the couch. "But if you draw it up, um, may I?" He holds his hand out, and dubiously, Jenna hands him the eyeliner. "See, if you draw up," he says, carefully drawing along her lashes, "you make your eyes sleeker. Catlike."  
  
Jenna checks her mirror and widens her eyes. "Wow," she says. She turns to Tyler. "Where'd you learn to do that?"  
  
Tyler shrugs vaguely, capping the eyeliner. "Just picked it up."  
  
Jenna studies him for a moment. "I have, uh, this teal eyeshadow that I think would look really good with your skin color," she says, rummaging through her bag and pulling out a small black case. "Can I...?" she asks, opening it.  
  
Tyler can't help a small smile at the familiar smell of makeup. "Okay," he says.  
  
The teal eyeshadow is barely touched. "It's not really my color," she explains as she starts to decorate his eyelids.  
  
He waits patiently, letting her tilt and angle his face. It's a little strange to have someone else other than himself or Maddy do it, but it's nice. Tyler feels kind of nostalgic.  
  
"There," Jenna says, pulling back and closing the case. "It looks good. _You_ look good." She pulls out a small mirror and hands it to Tyler.  
  
Tyler... Tyler _does_ look good. "Wow," he breathes, fluttering his eyelashes. The teal eyeshadow makes his skin color look amazing in contrast, and his eyes pop nicely.  
  
"You don't even need mascara," Jenna says with a sigh.  
  
Tyler studies himself for a while longer when he hears Josh's muffled laugh from the other room, and snaps back to himself.  
  
"Oh, gosh," he says, eyes widening. "No, no, no. This isn't right."  
  
"Tyler-"  
  
"Remover, remover, do you have any?" Tyler demands frantically, wringing his hands. "Please!"  
  
"Here," Jenna says, wide-eyed, fumbling through her bag. She pulls out a small pack of wipes and opens it, handing one to Tyler.  
  
Tyler frantically scrubs at his eyelids, cursing himself under his breath. He buried this, he _buried this._  
  
"No, no," he mutters. _"No!_ You're a _man!"_  
  
"Gentle, Tyler, be gentle," Jenna instructs, grabbing the hand that's ruthlessly scrubbing the makeup off his eyes. "Gentle," she says softly before releasing his hand.  
  
Tyler goes back to wiping the eyeshadow off, albeit less viciously.  
  
"Please don't tell Josh," he murmurs. "Please don't tell Josh. Please don't tell _anyone."_  
  
"Tyler..."  
  
 _"Please!"_ he begs.  
  
"Okay," Jenna whispers. "I won't."

 

 

 _"I'm sorry about last night," Jason says softly, wrapping his arms around Tyler. "It won't happen again. Do you forgive me?" He looks at Tyler with bright, earnest eyes._  
  
 _"I..." Tyler says hesitantly._  
  
 _"Please?" Jason says, and he looks like he's about to cry. "I won't do anything like it again, I_ promise."  
  
 _"...okay," Tyler says, and Jason smiles and kisses him._  
  
 _"Let me make it up to you," he murmurs, taking Tyler's hand and leading him to their bedroom._

 

 

"So," Josh says, clapping his hands together and rubbing them. "How many of you kids know what a shark is?"  
  
All hands shoot up.  
  
"They eat people!" one boy shouts.  
  
"Kyle, wait for Mr. Dun to call on you before you say anything, all right?" Jenna says. The boy grumbles.  
  
“It’s true that they eat people,” Josh says. “But that doesn’t happen very often. Did you know that more humans eat sharks than sharks eat humans?”  
  
“Eww,” a girl says. “Who’d want to eat a shark?”  
  
“Tammy,” Jenna says. “Same goes for you as it does for Kyle.”  
  
“Mainly the Japanese,” Josh tells the girl. “Shark meat is considered a delicacy there.” She nods. “Anyways, I’m not here to tell you about Japanese cuisine. I’m here to tell you about great white sharks.”  
  
Tyler watches as several of the students shift excitedly in their seats.  
  
“So, I’m guessing you know what a great white shark is?” Josh asks, looking at one of the students.  
  
“They’re maneaters!” she says. "Like in Jaws!”  
  
Josh laughs. “Well, Jaws is very different from real life, I’ll tell you that. But essentially, yes, like in Jaws. However, they don’t ever intend on eating humans. Sometimes we just look like funny-shaped seals.”  
  
Josh goes on to further debrief Jenna’s students on the many false beliefs about great white sharks.  
  
"He's good," Jenna murmurs to Tyler at the back of the room. "With kids, I mean."  
  
"He was so nervous," Tyler tells her. "But look at him."  
  
"He'd make a good teacher," Jenna remarks.  
  
"Yeah," Tyler says. He catches Josh's eye and gives him a thumbs up. Josh smiles back before turning back to the kids.  
  
"Hey," Jenna says suddenly, softly. Tyler looks up. "How are you doing?"  
  
He blinks at her. "What?"  
  
"You're..." Jenna gestures to his body. "You're transsexual, right?"  
  
Tyler's eyes go wide. "No!" he hisses as quietly as he can.  
  
"It's okay," Jenna insists. "Really. That's okay."  
  
"I'm not transsexual!" Tyler whispers fiercely. "I'm _not!"_  
  
"Tyler..."  
  
"Jenna, I'm really, really _not,"_ Tyler insists.

 

 

_"You're gonna have to tell him soon," Maddy tells her when Tyler shows up, begging to borrow her makeup._   
  
_"I know, I know," Tyler says with a sigh. "I was hoping I'd stay, you know, a guy for a bit longer."_   
  
_"It's been nearly three years," Maddy comments._   
  
_"That's the longest I've ever stayed," Tyler says with a sigh, closing her eyes so Maddy can run eyeliner across her eyelids. "I was just riding that."_   
  
_Maddy hums, concentrating on Tyler's eyes._   
  
_"Zack told me," she says softly as she pulls back to rummage for eyeshadow._   
  
_"Told you what?" Tyler asks, opening her eyes._   
  
_"That Jason yelled at you," Maddy says, not looking up. "That he shoved you."_   
  
_Tyler sighs. "It looked a lot worse than it was."_   
  
_"And how bad did it look?" Maddy asks._   
  
_"Probably pretty bad," Tyler admits. "But he was just stressed. That's all."_   
  
_Maddy frowns. "Close your eyes," is all she says, opening a case of eyeshadow. Tyler obeys._   
  
_"If things ever get bad," Maddy says softly, "don't hesitate to call me, all right?"_   
  
_"They won't."_   
  
_"Tyler."_   
  
_She sighs. "I'll call you."_   
  
_"Good," Maddy says. "Now tilt your head back a little."_

 

 

 _i miss you_  
  
Tyler frowns at his phone. _I visited last week_  
  
 _yeah but we havent really talked you know?_  
 _i miss girls night_  
  
Tyler freezes.  
  
 _Maddy,_ he taps out, _I'm done with that. You know that_  
  
 _how could you be done with that? its part of you_  
  
 _It's not_  
  
 _it is_  
  
 _It's not_  
  
 _tyler_  
  
 _Stop it Maddy. I'm done with that_  
  
 _are you really?_

 

 

 _"I_ told _you," Jason snarls, "not to bother me when I'm on the phone!"_  
  
 _"I'm sorry, Jase," Tyler says, alarmed by Jason's unusually furious expression._  
  
 _"You'd better be sorry," Jason growls, stepping closer. "You'd better be frickin' sorry."_  
  
 _"I am," Tyler says, wondering if she should be scared. "I'm sorry."_  
  
 _"Maybe I should teach you a lesson," Jason says lowly, take another step closer._  
  
 _"Wha-what are you doing?" Tyler asks, stepping back into the wall._  
  
 _"You're being an insolent little-_ bitch," _Jason hisses, and Tyler flinches back at the swear word. "I should just..." He raises his hand as if to hit Tyler, but lowers his hand after holding the position for a moment._  
  
 _"Crap," Jason says, looking down. "Crap, I- I'm so sorry, Tyler. I didn't- I'm sorry." He buries his head in his hands. "There's just been a lot of pressure on me with work, and my dad's sick again, and sometimes I feel so guilty because I_ know _I'm too old for you and-"_  
  
 _"No, no, no, shh," Tyler says quickly. "It's okay. I-" She pauses, biting her lip. "I love you, Jase. I don't care about our ages. I love you."_  
  
 _Jason smiles and slowly kisses her._

 

 

"You've never been mad at me, have you?" Tyler says suddenly.  
  
Josh surfaces completely. "No, I don't think so."  
  
Tyler nods slowly. "Not mad, but... other things."  
  
Josh smiles a little. "Yeah. Other things." He turns a somersault in the water before coming back up. "Why'd you bring this up?"  
  
Tyler shrugs. "I was just wondering what it would be like."  
  
"Kick me in the face and you'll find out," Josh jokes.  
  
Tyler chuckles. "I don't think you'd get mad at me for that."  
  
"Probably not," Josh agrees. "I might apologize for my face being in the way of your foot."  
  
Tyler laughs. "Oh, I hope not. If I ever kick you in the face, feel free to get very mad at me." He pauses, sticking his feet over the side of the pool and into the water. "I was just... thinking," he says slowly. "Thinking about how you'd act. If you were angry at me."  
  
Josh shrugs. "I can't really imagine it." He studies Tyler carefully. "You all right, Tyler?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, yeah," Tyler says. "I'm fine."

 

 

 _"You're barely old enough to drink, Tyler," Maddy says as she rummages through her closet. "And he's, like, thirty-five."_  
  
 _"Thirty-two," Tyler corrects._  
  
 _Maddy shrugs, throwing a couple skirts out. "Not much of a difference."_  
  
 _"Well, you're seventeen," Tyler says. "What do you know of love?"_  
  
 _She's fairly certain the people in China could hear Maddy's snort of disbelief._  
  
"Love?" _Maddy says incredulously. "Tyler, you're barely older than me. You're as much of a kid as I am._ Love?"  
  
 _Tyler scowls. "Shut up, all right?"_  
  
 _Maddy rolls her eyes, tossing Tyler a skirt. "Put it on, it matches your nails," she says._  
  
 _Tyler stands up and shimmies off her jeans, ignoring her boxers as well as she can as she slides her skirt up over them._  
  
 _"Beautiful," Maddy says, smacking a kiss to her sister's cheek._  
  
 _Tyler blushes, flopping back onto Maddy's bed._  
  
 _"Tyler," Maddy says softly as she sits down next to her, "Zack and I are really worried about you."_  
  
 _"Worried about me?" Tyler asks, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"_  
  
 _"He shoved you against your own car, Tyler," she says. "And we saw how he was-_ groping _you after dinner."_  
  
 _Tyler covers her face with her hands. "Oh, shut up."_  
  
 _"You were telling him to stop," Maddy says quietly._  
  
 _"And he did!"_  
  
 _"Not right away," Maddy reminds her. "It wasn't right away."_  
  
 _Tyler groans. "You're making everything sound so much worse than it actually is."_  
  
 _"Is it bad, then?"_  
  
 _"No!" Tyler exclaims. "Stop twisting my words!"_  
  
 _Maddy shrugs. "Zack and I have just been talking," she says. "Tyler, do you two go on, you know, dates? Actual dates?"_  
  
 _"Of course we do," Tyler says, feeling affronted. "We had one, like..." She counts back. "Maybe a month or two ago?"_  
  
 _Maddy sighs. "You know, dating usually means going on actual dates," she says. "What do you do when you're both home?"_  
  
 _Tyler shrugs. "Usually he just watches TV," she says. "Or we, um, you know. Have sex."_  
  
 _"So he either watches TV or has sex with you," Maddy says slowly. "And what are your dates like?"_  
  
 _"What is this, twenty questions?" Tyler asks. "Come on, just let me do your hair."_  
  
 _Maddy sighs, but hands her the brush._

 

 

"You're not happy," Patrick states.  
  
Tyler jumps. "When did you get here?"  
  
"Thirty seconds ago," Patrick says.  
  
"And how did you get in?" Tyler asks. "I didn't hear the door open."  
  
"You left the window open."  
  
Tyler blinks. "My apartment's eight stories up."  
  
"Child's play," Patrick says simply.  
  
Tyler frowns.  
  
"Now. You're not happy," Patrick says, placing a hand on his hip.  
  
"Okay," Tyler says slowly. "And why did you break into my apartment to tell me something about myself?"  
  
"Because it's making Josh unhappy," Patrick says, whipping out his ever-present tablet from... somewhere. "Look. It was important enough for me to make a page of it in your file."  
  
Tyler looks and sees an empty page, albeit the words UNHAPPY. AFFECTING ELEVEN.  
  
"Is it because you're genderfluid and you're currently experiencing dysphoria induced by ignoring your gender?" Patrick asks.  
  
Tyler chokes. _"What?"_  
  
"Is it because you're genderfluid and you're-"  
  
"No, no, I heard that," Tyler interrupts, waving his hand. "I- I just- how did you know?"  
  
Patrick smiles slightly, a small sympathetic one. "I know a lot of things, Tyler," he says softly.  
  
Tyler considers feeling horribly violated, but decides to let it go.  
  
"I'm not genderfluid," he says instead.  
  
"You're not," Patrick doesn't ask.  
  
"No," Tyler says.  
  
Patrick raises an eyebrow. "Yes, you are," he says. "And like your mother said, it's not healthy to bottle it up."  
  
Tyler doesn't even bother asking how he knew she said that.  
  
"Now," Patrick says, clapping his hands together. "I advise you to tell Josh about your gender."  
  
"And he'd understand?"  
  
"He probably won't understand," Patrick says. "But he'll still love you."

 

 

_"I- I can't do this," Tyler sobs into Jason's shoulder._   
  
_"Can't do what?" Jason asks, rubbing soothing hands down Tyler's back. "Shh. It's okay."_   
  
_"I- I don't-" Tyler chokes on a sob. "I'm sorry, I just- I don't know."_   
  
_"It's okay, it's okay," Jason says gently. "Did I do something?"_   
  
_Tyler shakes her head. "No, no, it's all me."_   
  
_She clings to him. "It's all me."_

 

 

"Tyler?" Josh asks softly.  
  
"Yeah?" he asks, surprised when his voice cracks.  
  
"Why are you crying?"  
  
Tyler touches his cheeks and is mildly shocked when he finds them wet.  
  
"I don't know," he murmurs. "I- I don't know."  
  
"I'm worried about you, Tyler," Josh says quietly. "You haven't been... I don't know, happy. Not in a while."  
  
Tyler shrugs as he wipes away his tears. "I'm fine."

 

 

 _Tyler's going to tell him._  
  
Jason loves me, _she reminds herself._ He loves me.

 

 

Tyler can't tell Josh, he- no, no, _she_ knows this, but she can't hide from herself anymore.  
  
She just _can't._

 

 

 _"Oh," Jason says, taking a step back. "Oh, my god. Oh my god."_  
  
 _"Jason," Tyler says softly, reaching out. Jason takes a step back quickly. "Please."_  
  
 _"Stay away from me," Jason mutters. "Stay back!"_  
  
 _"Jason, listen to me, oh, gosh-"_  
  
 _"You_ freak," _Jason growls, and Tyler freezes._  
  
 _"Jason," she says hoarsely. "It's- it's not what it looks like, I'm a guy sometimes too-"_  
  
 _"Freak," Jason repeats._ "Freak!"  
  
 _Tyler presses her palms to her eyelids, feeling the makeup smudge. "Jason," she whispers._  
  
 _"Hideous," Jason says, opening the front door. "You_ freak."  
  
 _Tyler swallows a sob._  
  
 _"We're done," Jason says coldly. "When I get back, you and your shit better be outta here."_  
  
 _He slams the door shut, and Tyler breaks down._

 

 

"Uh, Tyler?"  
  
Tyler freezes, spinning around, tube of lipstick still in her hand.  
  
"You- you weren't supposed to be back until seven," she whispers.  
  
"Yeah, um, Debby had to cancel," Josh says. His gaze flickers from the tube of lipstick to the way eyeshadow decorates Tyler's eyelids. "Uh."  
  
"It's, um," Tyler gnaws on her lip. "It's not what it looks like."  
  
"It looks like you're putting make up on," Josh says. "What is it actually?"  
  
Tyler stares at him blankly. "...uh. That is what it is. I just meant..." she scratches the back of her neck nervously.  
  
"What did you think it looks like?" Josh asks.  
  
"Like, um," she clears her throat nervously. "Like I'm transsexual."  
  
Josh's brows furrow before his facial expression clears. "Oh, transsexual! I learned about that."  
  
"Uh," she says. "Okay."  
  
"But you said you're not," Josh says, frowning. “So what are you doing?”  
  
Tyler doesn’t know what to do. Why isn’t Josh running? "I..."  
  
"Do you just like makeup?" Josh says. "It's cool if you do. My friend Gerard- the one with the bat wings- likes wearing makeup. He's really-"  
  
"Josh," Tyler interrupts, and Josh falls silent. "I'm- I'm not a man."

 

 

_Tyler rings her parents' doorbell, hoping her eyes aren't too red._   
  
_"Tyler?" her mom asks, opening the door. "What's wrong?"_   
  
_Tyler does her best to surreptitiously wipe her eyes as she slings one of her bags over her shoulder._   
  
_"Jason and I broke up," she says softly as her mother lets her in._   
  
_"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry," her mom says, giving her a hug. "Let me take your bags, okay?"_   
  
_Tyler nods, feeling miserable. She walks into the family room and flops down onto the couch next to Maddy._   
  
_"Hey," her sister says. "Rough day?"_   
  
_Tyler nods slowly. "Jason broke up with me."_   
  
_Maddy studies her for a moment before asking, "Wanna paint my nails?"_   
  
_Tyler slowly smiles._   
  
_"Sure," she says. "But only if you do mine."_

 

 

"I still don’t really understand," Josh says after Tyler's done explaining. "How are you a man sometimes and a woman other times?"  
  
"I just- it just- it just happens," Tyler says nervously. Josh doesn't look freaked out, but he’s still a flight risk.  
  
Josh nods. "I don't understand it," he says softly. "But I will try, I promise. And I still love you."

 

 

_"I don’t want to talk, Tyler," Jason snaps as he opens the door._   
  
_"Please," Tyler begs. "Just forget I ever told you, okay? Just forget. I'll go back to being a guy all the time and-"_   
  
_But Jason's shaking his head._   
  
_"It's not gonna work, Tyler," he says. "I'm sorry."_   
  
_Tyler doubts he's sorry. He certainly doesn't look it._   
  
_"All right," Tyler says, hanging her head and attempting to ignore the wrongness she feels when she notices her distinctly masculine legs._   
  
_She hates herself._

 

 

Tyler can't stop talking.  
  
"I mean, thank goodness I was over that when we started dating," Tyler says. "I was so... hypersexual, I guess, but I didn't know I was. I thought it was normal for couples to do nothing but, you know, have sex. And I thought that maybe-"  
  
"Tyler," Josh interrupts gently. "It's okay. You don't have to explain everything to me."  
  
Tyler pauses, staring at him before she bursts into tears.

 

 

 _"You're fucking harassing me!" Jason snaps._  
  
 _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Tyler pleads. "Just hear me out. I can just pretend to always be a guy, just like you always thought I was, and I'll do guy things and I won't even look at makeup commercials on TV and I won't-"_  
  
 _"Shut up, Tyler," Jason says tiredly. "Just shut up."_  
  
 _"Jason, please-"_  
  
 _"SHUT UP!" Jason roars, and Tyler jumps back in surprise. "SHUT UP ALREADY, DAMMIT!"_  
  
 _"You..." Tyler studies him. "You never loved me, did you?"_  
  
 _"Get out, Tyler."_  
  
 _"You never said it," Tyler realizes. "You never told me you loved me."_  
  
 _"Are you deaf now? I told you to get out!"_  
  
 _"What were we doing together?" Tyler demands. "For_ four years!"  
  
 _"Get out!"_  
  
 _"You- you_ bastard," _Tyler hisses, stepping in. "You_ bastard. _What the_ hell _were we doing together, you miserable little-"_  
  
 _"Get out, or I swear to god I'll actually hit you this time," Jason says lowly, and Tyler slowly backs out._

 

 

"You were a kid, Tyler," Josh says gently. "A kid. Who thought he- is it he? was in love."  
  
"I was an idiot," Tyler says miserably. "Four years. I'll never have those four years back."  
  
Josh smiles sadly and reaches out, probably to touch Tyler's face or something, but Tyler flinches violently.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, I-" She shakes her head. "I'm sorry." She looks up to see Josh studying her carefully. "What?"  
  
"He hit you," Josh says softly, stepping in slowly. "He hit you, right?"  
  
Tyler's shaking her head. "No, no, he never hit me."  
  
"Tyler," Josh says softly. "It's okay. You can tell me."  
  
"No," Tyler says firmly. "He never hit me. Not once."  
  
"Why did you flinch, then?" Josh asks gently.  
  
"He'd..." Tyler covers her face with her hands. "He'd- threaten to. He'd hold his hand up."  
  
There's a long pause, and Tyler slowly looks up to see Josh's face completely blank.  
  
"Josh?" she asks softly.  
  
"Sorry, I..." Josh exhales, shaking his head. "This guy had better hope we never meet."  
  
Tyler smiles bitterly. "Yeah. He'd better."  
  
Josh slowly wraps his arms around her, and once again, Tyler starts to cry.  
  
"I spent four years of my life with him," she gasps, burrowing her head in Josh's shoulder. "Four years with that asshole."  
  
Josh wraps his arms around her. "I'm sorry," he whispers.  
  
Tyler shakes her head slowly. "It's not your fault," she mumbles.  "It's mine. It's all mine."  
  
Josh tightens his grip on her. "It's not your fault he reacted like that," he says softly. "That's not your fault at all."  
  
"I- he had a temper, I know that, but I- I should've- should've _seen-"_  
  
"No," Josh says softly yet firmly. "People always react differently than how you expected them too. No matter how well you thought you knew them."

 

 

 

 

"What are you doing?" Tyler asks, wide-eyed.  
  
"And I know we haven't been dating for long," Josh continues. "Barely six months."  
  
"Are you-"  
  
"I watched a lot of videos," Josh says as he fumbles for something in his pocket. "On how to do this. But Debby told me they were all too cliché, and to just get down on one knee and ask." He pulls out a simple gold band from his pocket and takes Tyler's hand. "So, Tyler Joseph," he bites his lip nervously, "will you marry me?"  
  
Tyler stares at him. "W-what?"  
  
Josh looks back with a nervous expression. "I said, um, will you marry me?"  
  
"You- even after- even though-" Tyler gestures wordlessly to the corner where he has his makeup bag and skirts.  
  
Josh nods. "I’m in love with you, Tyler," he says softly. "With _you._ Not your gender."  
  
Tyler can feel his throat closing up, and he wipes away a tear quickly. "Yes," he says softly. "Yes, I'll marry you."  
  
Josh's grin is practically blinding as he slides on the ring, stands up, and hugs Tyler. Tyler can't help grinning back.

**Author's Note:**

> Well I got this done a lot quicker than I thought I would yay me. Although I guess it's because it shorter than I wanted it to be but oh well. Also I start school tomorrow so excuse me if I stop posting as many things. I dunno when you should expect part xxiii.


End file.
